Sunday, August 2, 2015

Can Feminism Co-exist with the World?

The great line in the sand that we now must draw, is the line which separates feminist from non-feminist. It should be self-evident that not everybody on Earth shares the feminist way of understanding the human condition, and that is how we mark the boundary between these two sets of people.

In the last year or two, we have seen a dramatic surge in mainstream anti-feminism. Quite frankly, these new people are just as fed up with feminism as the old-timers have been for years. They feel that feminism has "jumped the shark", and they are getting more and more outspoken about their disenchantment.

Now, since we are talking to the feminists themselves (along with everybody else), we ought to pose a very basic question for their consideration:

"Feminist, what do you intend to DO about this?"

Seriously: what do you feminists intend to do about the present situation? People are getting fed up with you and they are mobilizing, with reinforcements arriving daily. Will you treat these developments with the seriousness they deserve? Or will you schluff it off, act like nothing is happening, and carry on with business as usual?

The present situation is new and different. We're not talking about the so-called "men's rights movement" any more -- it goes far beyond that now. We're talking about a fundamental shift of perspective, and a whole new way of thinking to go along with it.

Let's be clear on one thing for starters: we're not a bit happy about the pernicious effect which feminist innovation has had upon men and boys. Let this be well understood. We know that men and boys are ground zero in feminist plans. That reality is never far from our thoughts.

But our thoughts go further, for we cannot ignore that men and women live in the same social ecosystem. Hence, the effect of feminist innovation does not stop with men. The web of cause and effect spreads in all directions, and if bad things happen to men, surely nothing good will follow for women. So by the end of the day, we are worried about the effect which feminism has upon EVERYBODY. Yes, the entire human community.

You feminists must understand that we outnumber you. That is why we call ourselves the non-feminist majority - because we've got the numbers! Furthermore, you are gravely mistaken if you think we are naught but empty space and empty minds, fit only to be filled with feminism. In fact we are a complex tapestry of life, ripe with meaning and mystery. Get that in your head, okay?

We have eyes -- our OWN eyes, not yours! This means that we are SEEING you, in ways that you feminists cannot hope to see yourselves, and we've got some highly original opinions about what we see. We are everywhere, we are gazing into feminism's soul, and we are discussing what we are seeing there -- whether you like it or not. That's right, the abyss is gazing into you now. How does that feel?

Don't tell us to "look in the dictionary" in order learn what feminism is. You can't put us off with that stale old stuff any more! We can see, plain as day, what feminism is -- after all, we've had half a century to do this! The truth about feminism is not written on a book page but painted on the canvas of this world, in tall red letters impossible to miss. And no, we have not missed a bit of it.

So feminists, we put it to you one more time: What do you plan to do about this?

You are in trouble for a REASON. Your actions and policies, for many years, have brought you to this point, and more of the same will only dig you in deeper. Is that what you want?

We are not feminist, and we will never be feminist. Nothing can make that happen, and if you try to force feminism upon other people you will only make things worse for yourself.

Are you looking for advice? Well here it is, ready or not. Feminism must gaze into a mirror, long and hard, and learn to SEE itself -- for the very first time ever!

Here, let us help. We've got the mirror, and if you just sit still, we shall be happy to hold it in front of your face. In fact, we've been doing that very thing for many years, but you feminists never knew this because you never wanted to know it.

Be aware that the mirror we hold in front of you does not reflect the face that worldly vanity and self-conceit might imagine. No, this is a magical mirror which blows that face away and exposes the naked soul behind it. Feminist, are you ready for such a thing? Are you ready to gaze upon your own naked soul?

We non-feminist men and women understand feminism better than feminism understands itself. You might say, that this is our secret weapon. And yet, ironically, it is no secret at all. Certainly, we have never tried to conceal it. We are happy to share what we know, and we shall propagate this knowledge ever and always.

So if there is any element of secrecy here, it is that feminism keeps this knowledge secret from itself, by a continual and strenuous exertion. Call it willful ignorance. You cannot know what you WILL not know -- for if the will is lacking, the way cannot be found.

Feminists, you might wonder why we address you in this manner. We have suggested, quite simply, that you've lost your way because you fail to know yourselves. Other people can see right through you, yet you persist in not knowing yourselves. For some reason, you prefer to fob that work off on other people.

That's a hazardous condition, don't you think so? It means that other people have got the edge over you, and will steadily advance upon you in the course of time, and gain the upper hand.

Feminists, let me put you straight with some real talk. If you want to stem the rising tide of anti-feminism, there is only one trick that will work. You must alter your behavior in such a way that you don't turn people against you. In other words, you must stop creating anti-feminists in the first place! Now, it is true that everybody is either a feminist or a non-feminist. But while an anti-feminist is still a non-feminist, the anti-feminist has a little something extra. Certain modifications, if you will.

And it's on you, the feminist, to see that those modifications never happen. Only YOU can prevent anti-feminism -- it's your job, not theirs.

You want the tl;dr version? Fine, I'll let you have it in three words:

Listen and believe.

When non-feminist people try to tell you what feminism is doing wrong, you must listen to them, and believe them. You might think that these people "don't know what feminism really is", but I can assure you that they do. In fact they know better than you, what feminism really is. They know this because they know what you refuse to know.

So, sending non-feminist people to the dictionary for the fourteen billionth time won't work. (As if they've never heard that before!).

Calling non-feminist people terrible names like "sexist" or "misogynist" or "rape apologist" won't work -- especially if those accusations are unfounded, which they typically are. It will only work if you are trying to create more anti-feminists -- and for that purpose, it will work like a charm!

Propagating debunked or dubious ideas - such as "rape culture", or  "male privilege", or "patriarchal  terrorism", or the misleadingly-named "wage gap", won't work. Too many people don't believe that stuff any more, so you will turn those people against feminism because you are "repping" for feminism in a very shabby way.

Telling non-feminist women that they are stupid, ungrateful, internalized misogynists won't work. I guarantee that if you don't lay off those women, they will learn to curse you like a pack of bloody pirates. And the last thing feminism needs, is women cursing it like a pack of bloody pirates.

I could go on with these examples, but I'm sure you get the point. Let me repeat: When non-feminist people try to tell you what feminism is doing wrong, you must listen to them, and believe them. You might think that these people "don't know what feminism really is", but I can assure you that they do. In fact they know better than you, what feminism really is. They know this because they know what you refuse to know.  You feminists seem to have an information deficit, but non-feminist people can supply that lack if only you let them.

One more time: listen and believe.

As a feminist, you'll never learn anything new about feminism if you don't listen to what non-feminist people say, and BELIEVE what they say. What makes you so dead certain that they don't know the truth about feminism? Who gave you the authority to pontificate about that? Seriously now -- who gave you that authority?

All right, it's time to wrap this up. Feminism is not the world, okay? The WORLD is the world, and if feminism disappeared into a black hole tomorrow, the world would carry on with no regrets and be none the worse. Nor would life for women take any dramatic nosedive. It would stay pretty much the same, and any slight modification would in all probability be for the better.

So if you're a feminist and you want to keep your religion alive, you will need to make peace with the non-feminist sector. You can't afford to make enemies in that sector. You are not the only game in town any more, and it's time you modified your conduct accordingly.

So don't make enemies. In other words, don't make anti-feminists. If you plan to co-exist with the rest of us, learn to negotiate a balance of power, learn to respect our boundaries, and above all learn to respect our intelligence. When we try to tell you something, listen to what we are saying, and believe that we are serious in saying it. Believe that we mean it, because we surely do.

Listen and believe.

Accept, with a good grace, that the power to define feminism is no longer your monopoly. Accept, with a good grace, that non-feminist people possess the missing information in your understanding of feminism. Accept, with a good grace, that feminism's days of unbridled cultural colonization are over. Accept, with a good grace, that you will not sell feminism to people by harassing and insulting them. Accept, with a good grace, that some people will never embrace feminism, no matter how seductive your marketing plan might be.  Accept, with a good grace, that non-feminist lives matter, and that non-feminist people have an inner life of their own which is precious to them.

Accept all these things, and many more, with a good grace. Then settle down, keep your feminism to yourself, and learn to coexist with your non-feminist neighbors. Is that even possible for you to do?

I guess we'll find out.



  1. I think you alluded to what feminism will do about half way through your essay. Feminism will do what Neo-Nazi movements often do. They lose the combat-boots and the skin-heads and buy nice casual clothes. Me? I'm no Nazi. I'm not a racist! I am just a concerned citizen interested in protecting my country's culture.

    The most dangerous feminists are not the fat hairy screeching ones you see at demonstrations. They are the college academics and the civil servants and the politicians. Most people do not call themselves feminists, but feminists still have majority support because most people have been drinking the feminist kool-aid all their lives. They might not call themselves feminists, but they will automatically support any feminist initiative because they want to feel "enlightened" and the want to be seen to be doing the right thing. Feminists might tone down their anti-male rhetoric and try to present a more diplomatic image. The He For She nonsense is a good example of this; more male blaming and male shaming but this time disguised as an offer of an olive branch to men.

    Feminists will become even more dangerous and destructive when they stop calling themselves feminists and stop sounding like feminists in public. They will still be thinking like feminists though, and the moderate sounding initiatives they propose, usually disguised as aimed at helping both men and women will continue to be supported by almost all men and women, at least tacitly. There are very few people opposing feminism yet. If there were than anti-feminism would be breaking into the mainstream.

    1. Good of you to stop by here: I have seen you around the anti-feminist internet before. I remember reading your short story about the radical feminist in Ireland, and I thinking it would adapt wonderfully well as a screenplay.

      I agree with what you say about feminism, and I have known it for years. As for anti-feminism, it is now growing in the mainstream, quite noticeably. But as of yet, people are afraid to speak out openly. Furthermore, they are unorganized, un-networked, and lacking a consistent theory or praxis. All of this is what needs to change.

      If a highly visible minority of people is willing to stand up and saw (even just quietly) "I am not feminist", it will put feminism and feminists on the spot, and create a focal point for resistance.

      If the feminists are forced into retreat and subtler dissimulation, they can be followed,every step of the way and placed under a lens of scrutiny as they go.

      The important thing is to create a polarization around the binary of feminist / non-feminist. This will effectively place the non-feminist side in control of the cultural narrative (which is the main thing we are striving for).